First Officer Richardson
First Officer Douglas Richardson here, works for MJN Air with a shartarse Captain, a snarky old hag and a clot.
Arhur look! Yellow car!

Arhur look! Yellow car!

'The Talk'

ask-the-clot:

ask-the-clot:

firstofficerrichardson:

Arthur, how much do you know about sex? Just facts.

Uh, that it happens between two people who love each other. And that I have to close my door and go to bed whenever Mum does it.

Okay…first thing, get the image of Carolyn out of my head. Two, okay…well there’s fours steps really.

  1. Seduction
  2. Foreplay
  3. Intercourse
  4. Climax

Ah… And how are these done? Because I think I can do seduction.

I think that’s just kissing, right?

— By the way, I’m not sure if this matters, but this is with Martin.

Not a woman.

Skip.

Me and Skip.

Sex.

Four steps.

Please tell me how to do this.

I guessed it was with Martin, Arthur. I do actually have two brilliant things called eyes. And since sex with another man is a bit out of my area, I’ll have to try and do this carefully.

'The Talk'

ask-the-clot:

firstofficerrichardson:

Arthur, how much do you know about sex? Just facts.

Uh, that it happens between two people who love each other. And that I have to close my door and go to bed whenever Mum does it.

Okay…first thing, get the image of Carolyn out of my head. Two, okay…well there’s fours steps really.

  1. Seduction
  2. Foreplay
  3. Intercourse
  4. Climax

'The Talk'

Arthur, how much do you know about sex? Just facts.

TELL ME HOW TO. PLEASE. PLEASE PLEASE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Or I'll have to ask Mum.

Dear God, don’t ask Carolyn. That’s suicidal. I’ll…I’ll try.

Carolyn: What's going on in there? You've been on stand for half an hour! I've been waiting for you in the portacabin!
Douglas: Yes, we saw your light was on and we thought you might still be there.
Carolyn: But you didn't come in!
Douglas: No, we saw your light was on and we thought you might still be there.
I don't know how to have sex.

…Ah…

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

ask-the-clot:

Procrastinating away from this account for a while to dwell in the fact that my lover just left me.

hm.

Oh no! :( I’m sorry.

DOUGLAS, I NEED YOUR HELP.

What is it sonny boy?

Arthur, be careful with that mistletoe.

Arthur, be careful with that mistletoe.

 
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